City of Lancaster Triathlon

"The only limits we have are those we set ourselves"

Captain Masons Ironman Reports

Ironman Lanzarote 2009

Race Day, IM Lanzarote 2009

4.00am. Alarm goes off. Slept well, no loud music from drunken Irish girls, in fact not a bad nights sleep. Kettle on, porridge & raisins soaked in water overnight, add milk and warm in pan. Feel ok, eat porridge. First cup of coffee ahh!! Sarah still in bed asleep, make her a cup of tea (ahh tea is shite in morning doesn't wake me up like coffee).Toilet.

Still naked, clean teeth and put favorite IM shorts on (old reliable), heart rate chest strap, 2xu vest, long sleeve cycle top to keep warm, more coffee, don't forget sunglasses to go in T1 bag (prat). Contemplate faking injury or illness to get out of race. More coffee.

Go & wake Sarah, Sarah wakes up & drinks tea . Eat two Gels & glass of water. Get bottles out of fridge with my favorite tipple; lime accelerade (don't forget the bottles prat). Wetsuit, goggles, cap, compression tights & socks for after the race. Sarah ready.

OK LETS GO. Walk to transition, still dark but no wind yet. Put bottles on bike and put sunglasses in T1 bag. Go back to bike check location position sighting markers. Give Sarah operational orders, kiss & farewell my lovely. Go to changing tent put on wetsuit meet with the Iron Hippy exchange pleasantries, zips me up and we say our farewells. Drop white bag in collection bin & walk to swim gate but not open yet.

6.15am Sit on pavement & rest, try to relax. Gates open, wait for rush to go. 6.25am Walk down beach to swim start. Get into water & warm up for 5 mins. Feel okay, quite pleasant even. Crowds forming in grandstand. 6.40am go to start line behind green inflatable arch and assume my position next to barrier. Go through swim strategy in my head. Hold the buoy line and get as close as possible, whatever happens must hold the buoy line. Five minutes to go and start line now packed. Everyone pushing & shoving but hold my place next to barrier. Growl at two young Spaniards pushing in, big Dutch man next to me joins in with his disapproval, Spaniards skulk away.

6.59am One minute to go. Oh no we’re off early. Hit stopwatch but it doesn't start. Hit it again. Running through the shallow water, got to get the buoy line. Start to swim, reach the buoy line. Lots of bodies, bang crash wallop! Try to relax and hold the line, remember nobody’s trying to kill you. Uh oh man stops on buoy line and big pile up ensues. Kicks to head, feet dragged down.

Reach first big yellow marker buoy. Mayhem as bodies everywhere. Not a single space of clear water. Bang crash wallop! Goggles knocked ajar, recover and adjust, resume full stroke, find some feet but too slow. Try and find feet again and stay relaxed but still too slow. Reach open water, no feet but somebody on my feet.

Make a left turn but no marker rope, change sighting to big red buoys & big white hotel on horizon, aim for left hand side. In clearer water now. Look for some feet. Pink cap girl? Green cap maybe? Is green cap a female pro? Try to pick up the pace, can see big yellow exit buoy for first lap. Keep the tempo up and exit onto the beach to start second lap. Exit water for end of second lap, check watch -65mins, uh oh! 2mins down on last year!

8.05am Run up matting and through showers. Nearly dislocate shoulder taking off wet suit. Set off up steep incline into transition, get bag and straight into changing tent. Helmet, sunglasses, socks. Deposit bag with helper and run for bike. Sarah stood by bike. ‘Hello Sarah I love you!’ Get shoes on and start pushing up to mount point.

8.10am I'm off and away peddling This is what I do best. Heart rate not working, it’s blank. Bastard! Still won’t work. Give it 5minutes to start working, need heart rate to work, can't race on feel alone, will go too hard. Head down promenade peddling into wind. Reach first big roundabout and then accelerate up incline towards Arrecife airport. Ah hah! Heart rate now working! 140 bpm, loud & clear. Uh oh too high, need to relax. Manage to get it down as go over bridge and onto first fast straight. Get the big gear turning. Grandmaster sat on shoulder telling me to rein it in but still at 140bpm. Is it jammed? Feel good, steady boy steady. Make the fast bits faster.

Down towards Puerto Calero roundabout and start to climb again. See first bloke with puncture and feel sorry for him. Have a drink and have a gel every 20mins. Getting into the routine; rip, squeeze, suck. Down towards El Golfo. Reach first aid station and grab water bottle. Three slurps then over head, got to keep cool. Pass Mark Procter. Me thinks his first few miles were far too quick, come on Mark! Overcast very windy, tries to rain. Hah! Pass the point of last years’ puncture, so far so good.

Big left turn and the road to Timafanya. Fire mountain disappears up into the distance before me. Heart rate at 137 bpm. That’s okay, try to relax; drink, rip, squeeze, suck – got to keep the routine. Reach the top and pass the camels down the other side, hit 45mph. Strong crosswinds, in fact a bit scary, wuh hooh! Need a wee…ah that’s better…now can concentrate.

Slight climb to Taigu. At next aid station change bottles and then turn left for La Santa. Fast bit as down hill. Big Swede all in white skin fit passes me. No way José! Hammer after him & pass him. La Santa village comes into view, slow down for speed bumps, crowds shouting support. On towards Famara, sun comes out & a strong side wind, hard to keep the bike straight .Turn left for Teguise and start to climb but wind behind and start to feel the heat of the sun. Climbing strongly check heart rate 140bpm, too high! JK on shoulder gives me a bollocking.

Dropping out of Teguise, down towards the start of the windmill climb. See the windmills in the distance. This isn’t a real climb! I'm a man from the mountains, real mountains! Hard Knott, Gummers Bummer, I eat mountains! We start to climb gradually but head on into wind. A French girl passes me ? What are you doing lady? Nobody passes me going up hill unless their name is Knapp or Pantani. Climb becomes steeper get out of the saddle to engage the quality muscle. Must keep the heart rate below 145bpm. French girl comes back to me & is spat out the back never to be seen again. That'll teach you young lady.

Finally starts to flatten off and start to pick the pace up again. Pass one of the women pros who has the most amazing muscular legs…c'mon concentrate! Start to descend through the hairpins to Haria and have my second wee as I freewheel downhill. Straight through Haria & start the climb to Mirador del Rio, wind behind me. 75 miles done & at last some downhill. Get aero & turn the big gear. Got to hold the heart rate at 135bpm, don't let it drop. Turn into the wind again for 2 miles. Got to keep focused got to keep pushing.

Turn onto rough road for 2miles, hope the bike holds together . Wind behind again now to push on for home. Start the descent for Puerto del Carmen. Hammer, hammer, hammer! Push the biggest gear you can, 53-11. Onto sea front and into T2. Yes! Made it 5hrs 55mins.

2.10pm Drop the bike and start to run. Legs feel okay. Get run bag, put sun visor on, don't change socks…big mistake…carry two gels in hand. I'm up & running onto the start of the marathon, lots of noise from the crowds. Sarah shouts & waves, she got it right, I love her. Heart rate 131bpm, must keep it above 130 to maintain a good pace.

All the other runners look good. No fat lads or plodders yet. Everybody looks smooth & efficient. Am I?

First leg out to turn around 25mins. Bang on target. Turn back to start with wind behind me, not so cool now, start to feel sick, drink more water to settle stomach. See the IRON HIPPY coming the other way and shout encouragement. As I come back towards the turnaround I see Mark Procter starting his first lap. I get first coloured band and it gives me a push to nail the 2nd lap. Catch up with Mark by first aid station and slow down to offer some advice & encouragement. Have my first coke fix washed down with water, yes! 5mins down the road it starts to work. Oh yes!! . Bella Comeford is coming the other way (women’s race leader). I am a lap behind, she must not catch me, she will not catch me.

A mountain bike comes past me with a sign attached (men’s 1st place). Bert Jammer, the race leader, comes into view on my shoulder. Not moving as fast as expected. On any other day, without 112 mile bike ride in my legs, I could hold his pace no problem, but not today. I quicken my pace for a while as I get the buzz off him. Will he win? Will I win my battle? More coke, more water, begin to belch, too much fizzy coke, feel sick. C’mon! Got to keep the heart rate up. Get to turn around point, still on target. This end of the course is much hotter than the other end, lack of wind I think.

Lots of plodders out on the course now, some loud music playing at one of the bars, some fat lads drinking cold beer, lucky bastards…but that will have to wait, got to nail these run splits. Feel quite strong up the little inclines, back down to turnaround point & collect 2nd band. Now at the half way point. 3hr 30mins, check sums in head, yes bang on schedule. C’mon you have to nail it, JK will be proud of you.

Time to get out the secret weapon; "THE IPOD SHUFFLE", once thought of as only for girls, fat lads & hippies but I am relaxing my views & my strict military training is a distance memory, I am becoming more wooly & liberal by the hour. ipod is installed & working, this is a very strange experience as never used one before in a race. I am in my own little world as the Kaiser Chiefs belt out into my ears. Don't over excite yourself old lad, next thing you'll be stopping for a cold beer. Got to stay calm. Turn around for last time & collect the yellow band. 6 miles to home & a 3.30 marathon. You have to nail it!

Johnny Cash comes on the ipod, I love Johnny Cash ," San Quinten you been hell to me", OH YEAH!!!! Water over head, got to keep pushing.

5.45pm Turn around, at far end now. I'm on my way home. Let’s nail it, don't give up on that time you lazy bastard. One mile to go. AC-DC come on with Rocker, oh what a finali. 500m left to go. Take out the ipod & smarten up. Sarah is near the finish, I hear her shout, I love her. Crowd is very noisy near the finish. The finishers’ funnel clock says 10.46. OH YES!!!!! Over the line, a good days work, 3hrs 33 mins for the marathon. A very happy boy.

THE END.